it sucks.
this feeling. it’s not going away.
i don’t understand why. now i don’t want to understand either.
i’m tired of questioning, tired of answering.
i just want to sit, chill and relax.
all i wanted is rest while i’m doing things.
rest. just rest dad…
i need to relax. by your grace.
help me dad, comfort my restless soul.
dad, just so you know…
i love you. *hugs*
if not for your amazing grace…if not for your undying love…
i would have all i have today…
and I shall take my time to thank You..
thank you for everything… especially the cross.
a sigh of relief… just how you adverted a spiritual attack…
how you speak words of life through your vessel to me…
I thankyou for everything once more.
selah.
gripe.
it’s been awhile since I actually griped about work..not that I want to gripe about work now…
daddyGod bless those nuts who give me work….. loads of little, itsy bitsy stuff….
yes it’s a tad annoying… yes i get lazy and irritated doing little things that aren’t really my job (it’s someone’s elses job) it’s less problematic ‘donating’ them to me…
thankGod…thankGod i’m thought of as less problematic, thankGod that though I’m taken for granted (lol, what’s new) at least there’s an efficient image of me (only by the grace of God)
thankGod I’m not a bad ass, bad attitude dude….thankGod He shows me more grace than I can show to the rest of office….
i’m tired…. just a tad exhausted…. being taken for granted and worse – expected to be a clean up, back up plan really sucks… They say all NSFs face it… oh wells…I’ve seen recognised NSFs and I wonder if it’s really true that we all have to be treated as free labour.
With all the niceties and glamour they give to appreciate National Service men… behind the scenes? Work is still work.. even if it smells. (like crap. lol)
oh yes… Green and Blue… I’ve given up on the disparity… Work is still work, who cares about the vocation… Don’t compare.. you’ve been conferred with a vocation – make the best of it.. (:
daddyGod doesn’t make mistakes la.
i am, a tad annoyed by the staff in my office… They call my post unique…I’ll like to think of it as special…but there are days it just seem like the crappiest, extremely rare hellhole you can ever find. but then again.. that’s my flesh. do pardon me. teehee.
It is getting abit personal when you start to dislike the dudes in office… They have a clique comprising of people of the same vocation… and they like comparing their job against mine. then they take you on their little ego trip… (oh spare me pls.)
~~~~*
i’m done. I love my job despite the crap la…
Where can you find a job with so much freedom?
I have a boss who encourages me to take leave.. I get to roam around the whole academy anytime… I make many friends with people of high positions.. I have my own workstation, my own government email account (i’m the only NS officer with it), I have internet access in office (the rest don’t have)
I get to blog during office hours, I get to do my ministry stuff in office, I get to gym during lunch time..
Yes there are times where i need to do loads of OT… working 48 hours straight… I have to call people in high places.. Micro manage my cadets, etc etc…
but praise God la… I’m quite autonomous… i’m really given alot of authority (despite my rank haha.)
true, there’s trash..too much trash in this office…
praise God, i’m above and not behind the heap… in fact, my boss trusts me enough to clear the trash (all by dad’s grace really.) that’s probably why I usually get other people’s work from my boss…
I may not have gotten the credit (someone always does…hee..) but I got the experience..and it was well… kinda fun. (:
JIE JIE!!! your lil bro is doing well here!!! faster come back for camp leh!!! Remember to get something nice for me from China leh..hee hee… (I’m glad you’re safe.)
Praise God… I’ve been clearing up quite abit of work.. (:
I’m done with some ministry matters… I’ve pretty much cleared my desk of work..
Now it’s just the preliminary vetting of articles for my org’s magazine…. (ahh the many joys of being in the editorial committee…you get to slice articles…whee.)
Got this interesting quote while vetting…
“Rest not when you’re tired, rest once you are done.”
Dang…typical NPCC stuff….but then again..that quote holds much wisdom.. – think about it. (:
anyways..back to slicing… gruesome job though. ha. (:
wah Lord.. I thank you…
you truly make everything beautiful in it’s time…
lovely prata bomb and great fellowship…
finding out that I might get promoted after all (they surfaced my name for promotion – now pending approval, PRAISE GOD! )
lovely evening knowing ah ma’s safe….
recieving an email from mom, and replying -assuring her..
lovely indeed. i choose to rejoice and give daddyGod that glory for the beautiful things He has been doing in my life… I’m not gonna humour the worm by letting the mess that’s happening affect me… Dad will settle the messes.. (:
oh yea, prata bomb is awesommees k! I think it’s gonna be my usual order already.. (:
this was been a blessed week. (:
what hurt you the most…
was it the screams, the blood curling wailings of a person in pain?
what hurt you most when were sweating blood?
was it the silent bitterness that hardens the heart, anger directed at self?
what hurt you most when you were chained?
was it me?
what hurt you most when they nailed you down and raised you up?
was it our shame, our desperation, our helplessness, our every inch of frailty, our weakness, our pain and our pride?
what hurt you so much that your heart broke as blood and water gushed from your side?
yet you perservered….
yet you fought to live long enough to die.
yet you held on so you could let go…
“into your hands, i commit…my spirit”
and your head bowed down as the veil was rend apart.
mercy came running, like a prisoner set free…right to the point of our need.
you know their pain – comfort them, love.
rom 828.
lets cancel all pity parties…let us all start prayer meetings…
lets not grovel in tears… lets start feeding and build ourselves up.
15 minutes… not just to prepare for camp..
15 minutes of prayer not to beg…15 minutes of prayer for someone in pain..
i’ve been telling my games comm…. we have 300 plus youths praying in tongues for 15 minutes everyday… we can be sure that things will go smoothly…
i think 300 people praying in tongues for 15 minutes should be able to cover an entire day…
the recent disasters….it’s all just catch up by the little worm…
he has been messing around too much lately…he prolly sees how much daddyGod has been blessing us…even china… there’s revival…and he’s out to stop it…
i can’t be there for those precious peoplein person.. i do wish if they can deploy us to aid them… nevertheless.. I’ll pray that the Lord of hope.. daddyGod..love just meets them despite the dire circumstances…
i’m gonna rise up….not sitting around arms folded…
there are men of honour risking their lives to save others… there’s honour in that selfless dedication…
I’ll pray for those rescuers too.
those people are precious to daddyGod…so they’re precious to me too…
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.
Immanuel = God is with us.
hallelujah.
tonight’s very special daddy…. somehow tonight’s special…
kenny G is serenading with his little sweet wand of music…
i’m listening christmasy tunes on a cool may evening… is that ’silent night’?
i asked dad: “can every evening feel so special?”
and he gently replied… “no…. not every evening can be special… don’t group your evenings together… today’s evening is special because i’ve made special – today….and the next today will be special..because imm, i only make today special….not tomorrow..not yesterday… but only today… enjoy today.”
it’s been awhile since the start of this year had i experience such rest… such peace…such solace….
work may pile up… deadlines may be shouting… but today…right now… there’s rest…. i’m even taking my time to type this post…
dad, it’s nice to be back into blissfulness…. i guess that’s how falling in love feels like…i guess romance does exist. (:
beautiful journey… simply beautiful…. you’ve crafted this journey not into a plastic, temporal beauty, but into a tempered, lasting beauty.
beauty isn’t defined simply by the mere appearance of an object… but how lasting it is and how much it can grow into…
the best beauty is one that isn’t fleeting. (:
it’s been very restful today… i just put work aside and enjoyed the day.
and you’ve truly made this morning very special for me dad…. to hear the voice of an angel.
truly you make miracles happen dad… (:
wah, i really love this cool evening… (:
so he dragged his dusty feet along the broken road….
the weary young man tugged along as sweat flowed incessantly down his brow….
“it’s been a harsh long journey” he said, as he stopped for a moment to relieve his aching back.
just then a man gave the young man a pat on his back.
“son, i’m proud of you…. even young men get weary from walking… place your trust in me and I’ll make you soar like the eagle” said the man with much authority.
the weary young man looked into the eyes of the father…and in those eyes of compassion he found strength to carry on…
and he did carry on…on his father’s wings, did he soar.
and they took a new journey together….
hey….
dad, i’ve got requests for you…
-work that miracle that i’ve been wishing for so deeply inside…soon.
-make my dreams chase ME not i chase them…
-the road’s getting bumpy again. by grace ensure a safe ride dad.
-be my horizon. let me fly towards you.
-make sense of whatever’s happening now dad…just make sense of it all.
-lastly, i have a song in my heart – help me put them in words dad.
even milo’s not making me happy. be my joy Lord…. i smiled last night…i smiled to sleep leh.. let not this smile be fleeting leh.
holy spirit stir leh.. stir up joy…
sigh. Lord let this groan reach your throne. amen.
