many things.

i…

i’ve been worried over many things…

i’ve been concerned over the pots, the pans and the spoons… i’ve been concerned about the fruits, the flavor, the soup…

i am, after all, serving.. God

there has to be a sense of urgency… simulation is tomorrow… and here i am slacking… gosh there are many things to be done…

and there comes the familiar ‘one thing’ passage orating itself..

i don’t need a ‘martha, martha’ to tell me that i’m heading off-course…

of course, i’m heading the wrong way, wouldn’t it explain the tiredness and the self inflicted stress…

conventional wisdom tells me to plan and excecute my plan… excellence tells me to begin NOW…

if wonder what God says…

inside i hear a voice saying – stop, and rest, stop and listen… and as i listen to pastor Daniel’s voice and the melodies of Unleashed… the whispers become more audible: “stop, selah… don’t let your joy be stolen by duty… don’t let service blind you from why you serve at the first place…”

dreams and memories.. two gifts that God gave man that makes man – man…

i remember now why… i remember why… because He loves me…

new theme!

i like my new blog layout and theme!! (:

i like my header the most!
i took the photo quite a while back with Jz’s EOS… it was an expensive photo outing for myself back then.. but the results are astounding… (:

so… so… so… you like it? (:

the little boy speaks up.

and he tugged the flowing robes of the master craftsman…

and the little boy muster all the courage he had and spoke up..
“hello… do you see me? i’m here…”

but the craftman is still, he does not stir… and so the little boy walks away dejected, dragging along with him a stuffed bear…

“it’s boring in this stuffy old house, no one ever bothers about me, there’s no one to play with” and the little boy sighed.

and the little boy returned to the Oak wardrobe, and went back to a magical land called Narnia, and how often he did that as if he was a resident in this enchanted land and a visitor back at the old mansion.

years later, a little girl found the same wardrobe and entered the magical realm, where the little one spent most of his childhood in… and though none believed her, a certain old man did…

‘perhaps it wasn’t a lie, perhaps she’s telling the truth…
Have you seen this land she speaks of? No?
Ah.. perhaps she is telling the truth…
That dreams can come true… that such a land might actually exist…’

why did he say that?

perhaps he was the boy who entered that land years before?

no, but the old man did craft the magnificent Oak wardrobe… the one who does not stir…

yes… perhaps, dreams can come true after all…

nan kuai ah

When the effective leader is finished with his work, the people say it happened naturally.
~ Lao Tse (a Wise man from ancient China)

i smiled as i read the email… no credit to the donkey, all glory to the master…

no one remembers the armor-bearer, the caddy, the pit stop men, the mighty man… but what is glory to the one who lives to serve the King?

The desire of my King is my sole desire.

Lord, may the whispers of your heart echo so deeply within me.

May the works of my hands glorify you and blessed those belonging to you. You make big things with small hands. (:

yellow, purple and greens

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow…

the things you’ll find in your msn messenger chat history…

it all started with yellow, purple then green… and two came closer… precious sight indeed.

i think God is a very creative being… apart from creating humans, sentient, free-willed… He gave them the ability to dream, to remember…

memories and dreams can be very painful sometimes… at least for me…

memories, especially good ones, sweet ones, the ones you never want to forget tug all the heart-strings at the same time… they give you the ache, and sometimes you just never want to grow up…

dreams, especially impossible, earth shattering, socks popping, mind blowing dreams, the ones you always hopes to see fulfilled… there’s that ache too…

I have or had a problem of unable to move on from memories and had the fear of shattered dreams… perhaps the boy inside fears outward forces – circumstance, failures, limits and skeptics…

So, how to i answer such deep dormant fears?

do you hear that whisper?

perhaps you’ve been called to be at such a time as this…

perhaps… perhaps… perhaps…

perhaps i’ve really been called to be… at this present time… my birth wasn’t a random occurance, nor my path thus far…
perhaps He whose eyes is always on me has a perfect plan for me…
perhaps all things which was happened, happened for your good…

but i can be sure of one thing. He loves me.

All things will always always work out for your good.

come back home.

bring me home again.
where colours are vivid,
where nothing has been tainted.
And dreams aren’t livid.

Embraced where i belong.
And gently you whispered,
you were there with me all along.
i am assured, to you i’m tethered.

i’m coming back home.

the cheeky boy grins.

dad, i’m obscure yet known.
and cheery oxymoron i am.

how can black and white co-exist in one person,
sure, haven’t you heard of grey?

it’s fun knowing you’re this and you’re that. (:

dad, you know…

I look at Jz’s pictures over and over again…

and I get inspired. There is an awakening inside but something short of an epiphany.
but my imagination is tickled and i feel like grabbing my camera and start snapping away…

I read c’s one liners, and i think to myself: “is that what you call child like faith?”

then in my heart i have my own one liners, waiting to be expressed and i realised i’m not the only one.
there are many children too, waiting to express their faith and joy. I smile knowing dad has given me siblings.

I listen to L Rants and rambles, laughs and random thoughts.

and i am encouraged to meet someone who tells me that Jesus is faithful and patient, wise and loving. Not through mere words, but by virtue, by deeds, and by simply being. I finally know how joyful Jesus is, right now.

and i look at the journey of s, like a budding rose, a growing doe.

I laugh, why am I the big brother? I’m least qualified, but I’m touched by the humble chance bestowed to me to touch another life, not for praise or honour but subtly just for quiet joy and blessing to have a sibling…

i think about wy, i remember the signature that started it all

funny, one chance encounter could do so much, a bond forged yet not by my hands but someone divine. Dad knew i need to be looked after, and he provided his hands and feet. and boy a blessing that person is to me, you are in my will. (:

and a s just called, much to my surprise, and i still wonder, and i am in awe at such a precious brother.

I only asked for one, Dad gave me more, and he came along. Out of nowhere, and history began, how long has it been bro? Two years, no? Yet the bond between withstands the test of time, longer than any brother. It’s little wonder why i’ll take that bullet for you and have you stand behind me at my wedding.

dad, you know i don’t mind forfeiting the little ‘me’ time just to give my time to these precious people. I’d give up gaming, running and what have you just to fly down when they call, text or whatever.

dad, you know i hold people most precious to me. possession aren’t prized to me, people are. And i won’t need to choose between the two because i already know my choice – them. So guard them, protect and bless them – may i meet them with a smile more often then with a tissue. Make their dreams come true and mine is to see theirs fulfilled.

and dad, you know… I love you.

your lil boy here won’t give you up for anything. Daddy i just want you by my side forever, 

forget disneyland or heaven – wherever i am with you is…
                                                                                           already heaven.

stoned.

I guess this is one of those days that I really don’t feel like doing anything…

I just wanna stone.

I just wanna stare blankly into space…

I’ll let the computer stare at me if it wants…

I feel quite uninspired at work today, just really really unmotivated to do anything. Which in our local vernacular, I’m simply – ‘sian’.

I planned something out today, I had an idea of what to do.. but nothing has materialised thus far..

Bad time for ‘siansation’ to set in… Dad, solve this? (:

my take.

disclaimer: i’m writing this in view of what i’ve read from John Shore’s blog aka ‘Suddenly Christian’, this is purely my personal opinion and you are free to disagree or agree. (:

my take on marrying an atheist?

sure, if she’s a beautiful, wise, patient, prudent, loving and supportive girlfriend.. sure!

if she supports my faith or at least doesn’t object to it… i won’t mind…
if she cares for me… praise God..
if she loves me, truly loves me.. yeah!
if she loves my family and respects me… HURRY!

if she accepts my faith… wait… Then she wouldn’t be an atheist by then would she?

before the religious lawyers start picking up stones and nails… let me clarify this…

I speaking from the angle of… lets say I do meet that perfect girl… got the looks, yet comes with humilitiy, got the wisdom and the love, got the patience and the fun.. and most of all.. she DOESN’T NAG! SHE REASONS!

but she’s atheist… would i still consider her?

she loves me, she cares for me… just one question away from marital bliss… just a matter of a yes and no… She’s ready to marry me.. and she loves my folks and vice versa…

just that she’s not ready to accept my faith… reject?

now it’s not like i don’t believe that there isn’t a perfect CHRISTIAN girl… hold that thought…

i can’t marry the atheist (lets call her Mary) simply because of two reasons…

1. I love her.
 1a. I love her too much to know that she might not join me in heaven…
 1b. I love her too much to leave her at home while i’m enjoying myself serving in church. I WANT her to serve with me and enjoy what i enjoy..
 1c. I love her too much to see her suffering panic attacks and i can’t pray for her…
 1d. I love her too much to joined together in every way except our faith – there’s no COMPLETE union.

2. My God loves her.
 2a. I have bad habits, quirks and things that annoy her.. I don’t want to hinder her from believing simply because i’m a bad testimony to her – AND SHE CAN’T PRAY THAT I CHANGE!
 2b. She won’t be able to feel TRUE love… because I can NEVER love her enough… (woman need LOADS of love)

well that’s my two cents… If that perfect girl does come along… and she can be called anything.. even Mary.. I pray that she’ll be saved while we’re in courtship. (: if not, Lord, Bless me with that perfect girl in church then. (:

that’s all for now.. I gotta leave my office. (: