of money.

Lord, the bills are calling. . Help!!

Thank you for this Job… I don’t mind  starting immediately! (: (: (:

you’re my hiding place.

you know….

the grace of God overlooks your imperfections.

overcomes your greatest fear

and rescues your broken heart.

It’s the imperfect people that find God.

In His eyes He sees you beautiful;  in His eyes He sees not wrong, not a speck of dirt.

A jewel in the mud and a jewel in a showcase; Both are still jewels. Yet if you ever find yourself stuck in mud, you can be sure that he’ll lift you up from the mud.

It’s been a amazing week. I can’t begin to say how much this week he shown me how faithful God is to me..

I look at the mirror I see a man who needs God… And HIS GOD is right there with me.

He is my hiding place from the storm.

…

dear diary. I regret.

to whom may concern.

this is for the silly boy whom i forgave: bro, you’re a man now… and I respect you for your courage to face time with such faith… you have really really good friends around you. Don’t trade them for anything – they’re priceless.

this is for the sister whom i thought i lost: i don’t know what’s been happening.. but if you ever need me to clarify or explain myself – sis, you have my integrity. (:

this is for the brothers: ah soon, yongan, daryl and even you silly man. you guys are the reason that i know God is real and everything I believe about daddyGod is real. 10 years down the road. I want you guys to be present at the happiest day of my life. I’ll take a bullet for every single one of you. especially you ah soon.

this is for the church and the youth min: I grew up from the youth min. Entered at 14, now i’m 21. I’m not letting the disappointments and heartaches stop me from loving this ministry and continuing to serve it faithfully. It’s not about the leadership nor the way the ministry is being run. But it’s about the youths and Jesus, who is ever evident in this ministry.

If there anything I’ve learnt from the youth min it’s this: it’s making hell worry and the devil angry. This is a place where we’ll grow and this is a place where the devil will to make life as miserable for us as possible.

But end of the day. It’s about the people who see you through every heartache, the siblings, the comrades, the friends who saw your RISE and FALL; and yet look you in the eye and say – “I ain’t leaving you bro/sis”. You will only find this kind of people in while you’re in the youth min. You’ll get to make such strong connections IN the youth min… And trust me – these bond WILL last a lifetime and they will weather any storm that attempts to sever it.

And this is for the God whom I want to give loads of credit to: dad, you’re the most unsung hero in my life. You’ve unmentioned, unappreciated and forgotten sometimes. But yet you ARE faithful – Dad, I don’t need a church yet you blessed me with a good one; I don’t deserve my friends yet you surround me with them; I don’t derserve many many things – but you show me grace over and over and over again.

You are awesome in many ways then one. AMAZING. Utterly amazing.

And just to end this off. Jesus, you are really really important to me, keep those commando friends close to me. Continue to make life worth living. But most of all, talk to me every during every breathing moment of my life. When I fall to sleep and when I wake up – I just want to feel your constant presence around me. Everyday.

lesson learnt.

prioritising.

that’s what I caught from Deacon Sam.

that’s what I felt most important to me throughout the whole poly chalet.

actually not… haha

what’s most important in the chalet is relationships.

the brothers I’ve seen God giving into my life. It’s a prayer answer, a plea that I never imagine will come to pass…

THESE ARE the relationships for this season. Brothers. The caregroup (not a religious fun club, buta CARE-group)

I guess when you strip away all life’s complications down to its bare bones… You realise relationships really matter alot.

It’s a place when you can be shameless and lose your pride. It’s a place where you can hand your heart to someone and expect him to guard it for you.

Yes yes, i’m ranting.

Poly chalet was good if you look it at the big perspective. I wouldn’t trade today for another.

Speak to me Lord..chat with me (:

job.

(: something exciting is coming up.  something really really exciting cooking up soon..

I can’t wait. (:

Dad, anoint the work of my hands. Anoint my leaders and give me favour with them.

Raise me up. Give me a position. I don’t want just a job. I want a position of influence – not a mere title, but a place of imm-pact Dad.

Anoint my mind, anoint my lips, anoint my hands, anoint my EARS, my EYES and my NOSE – Help me discern. (:

So Lord lets make something AWESOME this month. (:

Dad, I won’t juggle between family, work and ministry. Rather WE – you and me, will manage it so well, everyone will know that IT IS YOU GOD.

All for your glory. (:

something beautiful.

you know it’s grace when God makes something beautiful out of my life.

Lord, thank you for being so patient with me. I don’t know how you do it, but you do… (:

so Lord as the week progresses… Lord guide my steps, hold my hand… Protect me…

Watch my back, Dad. (:

worship.

out of the many interpetions of what worship means…

I love this one the most:

“Worship means total abandon… To the one who abandoned all”

You know being unselfish is hard. We all want things for ourselves…

But I know there’s one place I can be completely unselfish and give it all.

When I’m on my knees and at the feet of Jesus…

Where tears flow incessantly and my strength lies abated…

That’s when I give it all… To Him who is willing to take all my nonsense, trash and brokenness; And make some beautiful out of a hopeless life.

You know it’s Jesus, when you see something beautiful coming out from your life. Despite the mistakes, stumbles and nonsense.

being un-selfish.

you know life is lived so much better is we would be unselfish.

then we can endure scrutiny.

withstand persecution.

and walk with our heads up high, knowing the ‘amazingness’ of daddyGod’s grace.

Because when we’re unselfish, what can people accuse us of? Being ‘too’ naive?

We’re the one’s enjoy life because we’re not constantly grabbing, fighting and paying for things we don’t need with our life and blood.

Then we can fully understand what it means to be undeserving, blessed and we’ll see grace as it is.. in it’s purest and true light.

then we can truly truly experience the life God intended for us to live…

all..
the…
while…

solutions.

so i get to choose between the carrot, the egg and the oolong tea. (reference to some email..)

I don’t like stereotyping but i don’t wanna end up like the egg or the carrot.

hardened and weak.

so how do I deal with my insecurities and fears?

how do I manage the condemnation and weakness when it arrives?

Some display strength in face of difficulty, some crumble beneath it.

But I’d like to raise above it, but there are days… very much like today, where my flesh stares out at me and sneers: “You can’t do it, imm”

and I have two choices at the moment… fight or flight; manage the thought or BE managed BY the thought…

decisions, decisions, decisions… so the rubber meets the road… I tend to cower more often than not…

How am I going to raise above my fears?

We all need practical solutions not wishy-washy-bless-you advices..

They say God be the Solution… I need a revelation concerning this… Cause it seems like there’s more to that saying…

I won’t say I’m not afraid… I’ll confess that His is MY God.

I’ll wait and see what daddyGod does… I wait and listen to Him…