learning to be like Jesus.

Of course, I often forget.

Jesus forgives.

Step one to being like Jesus: Forgive. haha (:

imm, get a grip. (:

Getting a Grip

When these moments spring to mind, I have two options. I can draw the shades, crawl into bed, and ruminate on into eternity. I can make unfavorable comparisons between myself and Job. I can echo Anne of Green Gables, lamenting, “My life is just a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.”

Or I can get a grip.

The key to grip-grasping is admitting you blew it. After you own up, you apologize. Then the hardest part comes: You move on. Alcoholics Anonymous has it down pat: “You name it, you claim it, and then you dump it.”

The redeeming value of these experiences is that they birth humility. Humility allows us to recognize our weaknesses (and flakiness) without despair. Humility sees life — and our fledgling attempts to live it — with unblinking realism, and yet it allows us to glimpse the comedy in our foibles. Pride scolds and ruminates, but humility laughs.

Most importantly, humility frees us from the need to rationalize, helping us to see the truth and yet be gentle with ourselves. Humility corrects our vision — pointing toward God’s infinite forgiveness and inspiring us to respond to ourselves in kind.

Who am I kidding? I am Proud.

Only humble people ask for wisdom. That’s what Pastor Prince said, as I decide to type this.

Ok, keeping it simple. I received an email from a project mate with kinda really hurt my pride. Apart from the cutting words and condemnation, boy, did I feel insulted.

And I conclude that I am Proud, I have pride, no doubt – guilty as charged.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not issuing invites to a pity party – I merely stating a fact. It’s true, if not why would it hurt?

Sure, I may feel some things that she wrote in the email were unjust. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, it doesn’t matter not. I’m upset – that’s what I feel is unjust and perhaps childish.

So, it’s disheartening to read bad news, yes it hurts. And it hurts more to find out that you’re actually proud.

But the great news is that i’m on the right track, I’m asking God for wisdom and accepting His grace. I’m praying for favor.

What’s done is done – what others may say may or may not be true, but I will not let my heart and mind be played with the devil by letting condemnation kill me.

God is my defense and my maturity, I will not lean on my own understanding or wisdom, I’ll learn, i’ll learn – Proverbs 12 verse 1 takes effect today – “To learn, you must love discipline;it is stupid to hate correction.”

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV)

I wanna be Christ-like, I really do. And I think the verse above refers not only to the people in church but anyone you meet.

Sure, it seems like the queen or princess don’t deserve grace and stuff. But who am I to say that?  Who am I to say that I cannot place people like that above me?

Jesus saves sinners, jerks and fools. Oh yes, Pharisees too (what, you think Jesus excluded them? He wanted to save them, they rejected his grace)

If Jesus could save and love them, I think I should be able to love them too – by His grace, after all as Christ is so am I amen?

It’s better to be Christlike and unknown than to be known, proud and condemned.

Aiyah, why try so hard to be acknowledge – Jesus loves me and is extremely pleased with me already. (:

(Jesus, thanks, I feel so much better now.)

not being selfish.

the prince is waking up I guess…

I feel selfish by not passing my classmates the online lecture notes. Sure, I reminded them that there’s notes online, sure I taught them HOW to get them. But I’m lazy to email them, simply because I don’t think (well honestly) they deserved it. (heh, so ungracious right?)

Well, there’s no point justifying my actions. But it’s a good learning point. Besides once I taught one person how to access the online notes, she emailed the rest – well at least I ‘indirectly’ help the group get notes.

So much for feeling selfish. heh.

So today I decided I should do something about my life. (for the thousandth time? )

I’m literally tired from acting worldly. Like seriously, I’m lethargic, I face move creative blocks than the amount of  Lego blocks in my baby cousin’s bucket.

Yesterday’s service was more than refreshing, it’s a deep reminder. A reminder of what it means to live the good-godly life. Not godly as in sinless, squeaky, no mistake life. But godly as in cool godly – trip but not fall, score ‘A’s only, happy not depress, talking to God instead of whining to self, real God not bitter self.

SOOOoooo I flipped to Proverbs 12 (Don’t ask why, when, where and how)

And I started from the middle part  of the chapter – it talks about stuff regarding wisdom.

But the J-man (Jesus) blew my mind away when I started reading the start of the chapter.

Proverbs 12:1
To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.

Ahh, that really makes sense doesn’t it? Reject correction and you’ll feel really stupid for doing so. I experienced that FIRST-HAND. Trust me, it’s a bad feeling.

So I’ve decided Proverbs 12 shall be my ‘carrying proverb’ in this transition stage.

Yes, Dad, Keep me. Keep me. Keep me.

smile.

whathappensnow?

Altar Boys.

I remember the days of altar boys.

It breathed its last words on the last day of last year, never hearing another word from him again.

While yesteryear was mono-chromic, melodramatic and drab. We all know how the story turned out.

It ended good, it ended well. It ended like how all good stories should end, or not.

Good stories have a beginning but never an end. The end is for fairy-tales and mother goose fables.

Good stories lay perpetual, with ‘happily ever after’ running along, flowing everlasting, never finding an ‘end’.

The Prince finds the Princess, the Beauty meets the Beast. Romeo and Juliet reunited.

Good stories may begin in tragedy. Terror may strike midway. But it always, always ends well.

…So then, when is my happy ending? Or rather when does my story take a brighter turn. When will the protagonist awake from his pitiful slumber and arise to seize his inheritance?

How long will the prince lay in his melancholic slumber.

Little do we know, but only hope. Hope for the best.

For heroes are often forged when the flames of tragedy are torrid.

hello.

emo is not me.

so says my head.

A rose is a rose.

“Civilization begins with a rose. A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose. It continues with blooming and it fastens clearly upon excellent examples.” (As Fine as Melanctha)

“A rose tree may be a rose tree may be a rosy rose tree if watered.” (Alphabets and Birthdays)

Some quotes that I found today which are very wise.

But my favorite ‘rose-quote’ of the day is “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet’. Heh, romantic eh?

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love.

love is underrated.

we brush it off as it’s a superficial post-it note.

But remember the post-it note was birthed from the person who tried to invent the world’s strongest glue.

You know what GLUE stands for?

God Loves Us Extravagantly.

Sometimes we pursue vain possessions – The good job, the dream house, survival.

We think love only hinders us.

Love can’t place food  on the table, you can’t eat love.

Then pray tell me we did they crucified Love on Calvary’s Tree?

Why did we pierce those nail through his hands and legs? Was it because we were so blind not to see the power of His Love?

But Love prevailed anyway, through His death we’re set free.

Do I love Jesus? My answer, He still loves me more.