death to life.

by e

i remember telling L this as we walked passed a funeral…

“you know what, with every death there is new life…”

everytime someone passes on, somewhere a child is entering this world as well….

that was what I saw at altar call yesterday…

I saw death….People who were dead…dead because of heartaches..dead because of circumstances…dead because of pain and disease…

But when they acknowledged their need for true life… true life rushed to them like a prisoner set free…

It took three days before we walk Jesus resurrected…but at altar call… it took less than 3 minutes and once dead souls are finally pulsating with life again…

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it’s been awhile since I had a panic attack…. the numbness, paralyzing feeling…

they call it a spiritual attack – oppression…I call it irritating…

I had one last night… this time with howling of dogs and all… I fought to move but I couldn’t.. I tried to call out ‘Jesus’ but my lips were numb…

Finally when I could call out Jesus, my arms started to move… Scary feeling indeed… I’m sure this is the last of it.. I won’t experience this forever again…

But I slept well nonetheless… DaddyGod has been very good to me…

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It’s been awesome, this whole week… a crazy rollar coaster ride indeed… many ups and downs, twist and turns…

but I’m glad grace keeps me in my seat… I had many stupid thoughts again… Wanted to leave again… I think the worm is trying to hard la.. If he can’t make me sian to stop believing.. he’ll try to make me sian enough to stop feeding… No, I cannot afford that… I cannot I simply cannot….

There’s too much at stake.. I can’t just throw everything aside to walk out…

Thankyou Lord for keeping me…. holding on to me… not letting me fall away… thankyou Lord, I love you.

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Tomorrow’s exams for me… Lord prosper me by your grace alone… amen. (:

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