God, dreams and writing.

by e

i really want to try my hand in writing one day.

like i want to write and publish a book… i want to see the book on shelves
and i hope that book makes not only sense – but changes lives.

and if it’s possible, i’ll love to make my book into a film. (:

it’s been for the longest time my childhood dream to produce a film – a tear jerker, a inspiration, a epiphany producing, love inducing, life changing film.

I remember i used to share this alot:
“I want to be the first successful singaporean christian film director/producer, being better than even Mel Gibson and making a film more phenomenal than ‘The Passion of Christ’ ”

Nothing wrong with Mr. Gibson and the Passion… i love that film and it was because of this film i decided to do something huge, bigger than it.. and impact lives in the process…

i dreamt of travelling to places just to shoot my films.
i dreamt of emails telling me that my film touched them.
i dreamt of pastors telling me that the film made them pastors.
i dreamt of enjoying life knowing God is good. and i get to share that with people.

oh, i’ve always dreamt of having my own concert and having an altar call at that concert!
i even know what i wanna say to invite the non believers… but… i’ll leave that for another time…

i’m still into the moonwalking mood… can’t stop thinking about it…

i like what i read from jz, john shore, s and c.

it’s still in my head. the topic of dreams.

and i convinced and convicted that dreams are godly stuff.

honestly, being christian isn’t going to church.
church is NOT God. christianity is not a label, brand or a model number.

church is home, christianity is who i am not what i am – ah, there’s a difference.

I am not what i wear. but i wear what i like. (:
and christianity isn’t pop culture or a nice nifty jacket i wear to fit in…

everyone has a story to tell, and everyone who’s a christian would tell you theirs.
and i’m sure christians recognise the touch of a loving God, that’s why they are saved! (:
if life was awesome and hurts and pain are non-existent why would i need a God to ‘save’ me – rather if things were perfect, I wouldn’t recognise God because wouldn’t i be like Him – perfect?, now… i wouldn’t need ‘saving’ would i?

because i’m welcomed to ‘Le real world’… I know i can’t fix things, i know i have that irritating quirk, that temper, that ‘i-can’t-help-it’ personality which you may feel adverse to.

that is why i need a loving God to save me from myself (and of course hurts, pain and every nasty thing that make me holla – ‘i hate life!’)

I’m not on a sin crusade – i’m not hunting down every immoral behaviour i’ve commited – i just want to dream again.

i want to change. and Jesus with the cross gave me a chance to be who i wanna be.

freed.

today, i can firmly look at you in the eye and tell you i believe in moon walking and life changing because i am freed by my own fear of my God given glory, freed from my limited capabilities and every snare and trap and dart that tries to dash my hopes, kill my dreams and bring me down, i am freed to dream.

because there are things, people, circumstances, moods, fears, nasty things that aims to discourage me EVERY SINGLE freaking day in my life – i NEED God.

because i can’t. He can.

and to the skeptics, rationals and atheist – you know Jesus died for you too?
He made us all free. He freed us all much to the extent – He freed you enough to be able to reject Him.

“Whoever the Son sets free is free indeed” – there, that’s in the bible. You are free, free to rationalise, free to fight your own demon and your own battles.

You are so free you can walk out on a good offer such as… let me spell it out for you: h-e-l-p, help.

He freed me so that i can choose Him once again – freed me so that He can win me over like how a the heart of Rose is won over by Jack.

He freed me so that i can, with my own lips and own will say i love Him too.

that’s why i dare dream – God loves me, what can nasty things do to me?

i dare you to moon walk with me too. get off your dashed hopes and regrets and finally do something irrational, something insane and crazy like dreaming.

“follow me” said Jesus. And rough, gruff fishermen dropped their nets and followed Him even if they didn’t know where they’re going. They left the safe and the rational and followed a dream so massive, so mind blowing and crazy like saving the world.

because the man they followed?

was God.

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