all things beautiful.

by e

I haven’t heard someone cry so badly like this in a long time.
on that note, I have never cried so badly for quite a long time.

I’m such a sentimental emotional fool.

I guess it’s alright to be emotional from time to time eh? Time to clean the windows of ones soul, and let out some putrid gases of past hurts and pain…

I don’t know if this is a seasonal thing. Lord, seems like every brighter rainbow is preceded with the darkest night, darker than the last.

I want it to end, the fear, the confusion, the pride. the…pain..

Knowing the all things will end up good doesn’t cut anymore.

I’ve been seeking out fantabulous miracles; a spectacular show of power.
But inside i simply needed a gentle whisper.

we all need that gentle whisper…

We wonder why life’s unfair. How come that other person has a better life, yada, yada… I wonder why of all people misfortune has to seek company with me. Woe is me, no.. drop that. My name isn’t woe.

ha, what the heck.

Weakness is strength in the new kingdom, new promise – the new page of God’s covenant.

No one gave a bleeding concern for Paul and Silas ‘cept for the believers maybe? Praying their hearts out.

Yet in that dingy ol’ cell, Mr P and S held a concert to the audience of one – God. In a jail cell, imprisoned and chained – Paul and Silas stopped to.. pray? No, praise…

I must be missing a tune here. I haven’t been praising or whispering… Groaning… yes.

I’m no Paul, i’m no Silas, and i’m sure no Abednego (Go figure.)

But if God be true and Jesus, a man of His word. Then let me groan, cry and plea…

Let me cry my most bitter tears and beg for my most needed needs. Even when i’ve forgot that i am a Son, let me call to you.

Every word goes to the throne; a groan will reach the throne.

God never promised to make all things perfect in it’s time, He promised to make all things beautiful in His time.

All this pain were results of my own mistakes, my own undoing.

When the devil’s condemned you enough, he’ll pull out his fattest lie.

“your mistakes are unforgivable, your sin – unpardonable”

Fattest lie indeed. Though I fell for it.

What can wash my sins away? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. Everything that claims that my stains cannot be washed away is a bleeding fraud from the disgusting pit of hell.

When God takes things away, they aren’t things that I love. They are things that hurt me – Blessed BE the name of Adonai.

Any solace and fulfillment other than the riches of His Grace shall be shaken, till all that i have is NOTHING but the riches of His Grace, all the world can fade away, till i see is His beautiful face.

I may be blind, i may have missed out entirely on what’s been happenning back stage.

But as long as i remain on the avail, and in the crucible… till all that is impure is burnt away, till i’m tempered and sharpen for the master’s use.

Till He makes all things new and beautiful in His time.

I pray i remain.

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