stealing glances and silent hoping.
the fear of rejection and an ebbing ache.
one of the very first things I wrote on this blog.
don’t spare me from this Lord..don’t…. Let me enjoy this moment with you. a silent admiration, a force so strong that it knocks me of my feet and breaks my focus.
it’s actually quite an experience I want to share with you Lord. it’s an intimate communion that I allow you to mingle with every part of my emotions.
Though the journey has been painful and utterly humbling.
I have to be honest. I thoroughly enjoy myself with you Lord.
It’s like me and Yongan. I’m glad to take this journey of growth with him. No other person I’d think I’ll rather spend but to grow up with him…
It’s the same with you Lord, you’re first.
No other person I’d rather spend with going through all this, than you Lord.
You’re my glory, my shield and the lifter of my head.
It’s still an inner battle, a fight to seize control of my thoughts and maintain a grasp on my mind. But Lord I surrender every emotion, every thought, every fear and every worry into your hands.
You’ll handle it better than I can.
Even if it seems confusing sometimes and I’m unsettled inside – yet I’ll praise Him…
I’ll sing a reprise of a love song I’ve sung and I’ll sing again.
So, faced with rejection, with so much uncertainty about the future and the very real possibility of you leaving my life forever.. even then, I chose you, and everything that came or will come with that choice.
I chose you. Even when you made it so hard. Even when you made me want to give up sometimes.
One day Lord. Just one day. I’ll rewrite this, and I’ll make it better. (: