hello dad, it’s me, we need to talk.
daddyGod, how I wish you keep a mobile phone.
then I can hear your voice on speakerphone.
then I can ring you up when I’m lonely.Text you when I’m in a fix.
Dad, If you had a mobile phone, I know you’ll always pick up my calls.
Wait… what is that?
Oohhh… Prayer… Ha..
Silly me… You always hear me when I call/pray/scream eh?
But dad, I really really long for your tangible presence… I’m not just statisfied with a one way convo with The Almighty.
I really dislike being cooped up at home feeling ever so alone and sometimes lonely.
I really dislike the deafening silence at home. Like I’m the only person alive in the neighbourhood.
Sure, I love hanging out with my friends, brothers, kin. I enjoy their presence, I cherish every single soul that daddyGod has graciously provided to walk with me in this journey.
I really do.
It’s just… just…
What happens when you step home, lock the gates, face four walls and a glowing monitor?
I admit I’m not as secure as I’m supposed to be. I hate to feeling lonely. Mind you – lonely not ALONE. I’m ok being alone. After all it’s been like that since I was ten?
Going home is like going back into my cell. ‘Cept there’s a clean toilet, a kitchen and a warm bed. Other than that, I need a revelation to make everything else feel alive..
and yes, yes I’m ranting… I’m griping, whining… It’s hard bottling up for so damn long.
Maybe it’s not so bad after all…
I shall start thanking God I’m alive.
But still it’ll be nice if we could have a cuppa coffee with me Dad.. (: