Who am I kidding? I am Proud.

by e

Only humble people ask for wisdom. That’s what Pastor Prince said, as I decide to type this.

Ok, keeping it simple. I received an email from a project mate with kinda really hurt my pride. Apart from the cutting words and condemnation, boy, did I feel insulted.

And I conclude that I am Proud, I have pride, no doubt – guilty as charged.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not issuing invites to a pity party – I merely stating a fact. It’s true, if not why would it hurt?

Sure, I may feel some things that she wrote in the email were unjust. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, it doesn’t matter not. I’m upset – that’s what I feel is unjust and perhaps childish.

So, it’s disheartening to read bad news, yes it hurts. And it hurts more to find out that you’re actually proud.

But the great news is that i’m on the right track, I’m asking God for wisdom and accepting His grace. I’m praying for favor.

What’s done is done – what others may say may or may not be true, but I will not let my heart and mind be played with the devil by letting condemnation kill me.

God is my defense and my maturity, I will not lean on my own understanding or wisdom, I’ll learn, i’ll learn – Proverbs 12 verse 1 takes effect today – “To learn, you must love discipline;it is stupid to hate correction.”

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV)

I wanna be Christ-like, I really do. And I think the verse above refers not only to the people in church but anyone you meet.

Sure, it seems like the queen or princess don’t deserve grace and stuff. But who am I to say that?  Who am I to say that I cannot place people like that above me?

Jesus saves sinners, jerks and fools. Oh yes, Pharisees too (what, you think Jesus excluded them? He wanted to save them, they rejected his grace)

If Jesus could save and love them, I think I should be able to love them too – by His grace, after all as Christ is so am I amen?

It’s better to be Christlike and unknown than to be known, proud and condemned.

Aiyah, why try so hard to be acknowledge – Jesus loves me and is extremely pleased with me already. (:

(Jesus, thanks, I feel so much better now.)

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